


Teambuilding

by heartsdesire456



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Humor, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-21
Updated: 2012-08-21
Packaged: 2017-11-12 14:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/492143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fury suggest (more like commands) the team to partake in some sort of 'teambuilding exercise' to get to know one another better. The choice ends up being a movie night in Tony's living room. The movie, however, doesn't turn out to be exactly what ANYBODY had in mind</p><p> </p><p>(Or the short crack fic Chelsea wrote in which the team accidentaly stumbles on Tony's collection of old sex tapes and have hilarious reactions)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Teambuilding

**Author's Note:**

> There is no point in this. Seriously. I've wanted to write an Avengers fic for some time and THIS being my first one was a total mistake. I have no idea what made me think this up as I was watching Iron Man earlier, but I couldn't help myself and my wifey will LOVE it! Hope somebody else likes it too!

“Teambuilding,” Tony had asked, eyes narrowed suspiciously. “If this involves picnics, I will lock you out of the tower, Fury,” he said and the man on the screen chuckled, clearly amused.

“I don’t care what you do, Stark. But you and the others need to spend time together. Work on getting along better-“

“For the record,” Tony interrupted. “We get along _perfectly_ -“

“Stark, you locked Rogers out in the rain-“

Tony swirled his scotch and smirked. “He deserved it.”

To say Fury looked less than impressed would have been an understatement. “Just do something as a team, damn it!”

And that was how the entire group- Thor included- ended up ordering takeout and settling in to watch a movie in Tony’s living room. 

~~~

Steve came out of the elevator with a smile. “Alright, who wants pizza?” he asked, walking over to place a few boxes on the coffee table in between what appeared to be curry dishes and a pile of wax paper-wrapped cheese burgers.

“Thanks for picking up the pizzas,” Bruce said as he came in front he kitchen with soda bottles in his hands. He sat them all down and lowered himself onto the floor, crossing his legs underneath him as he sat. “Anybody seen Tony? I thought he had come up already?” he asked, and Natasha rolled her eyes.

“Said he had to finish something about an hour ago. I think he’s just trying to get out of this ‘teambuilding’ thing,” she said, crossing her legs. “Can’t say I blame him.”

“Oh come now,” Thor started, settling back into the couch. “It can only be useful to learn more about each other if we’re meant to remain brothers in arms. Back home, my warriors and I go boar hunting at least once a month!” he announced brightly.

Clint shot him a look from his spot sitting in a deep leather chair to the far left of the group. “I like being alone,” he said simply and without inflection. 

Natasha smirked. “At least you do until you need me to save your ass, Barton.”

Steve shrugged off his jacket and sat down beside Thor. “Oh come on, guys. This will be great for us as a team. We always said a team who plays together stays-“

“If you finish that, I might actually kill you,” Natasha interrupted, which earned laughs all around. “Okay, no more waiting for Stark, let’s just watch whatever we’re going to watch,” she said and everybody shared looks.

“Does anybody know how we’re meant to do that?” Steve asked, and Bruce shrugged.

“Tony’s movies are all stored in the system,” he offered.

Clint wiggled and pulled something from under his hip. “Maybe this does it,” he offered, holding a holo-tablet. “It has numbers and… things,” he said, passing it to Steve, who just looked at it in confusion before pressing a button.

“I’m not actually sure… maybe this?” he pressed another and was surprised when a menu came up on the large screen across from the coffee table. “Oh, that did something!” he said excitedly.

Bruce bit his lip. “You know, that controls more than just the TV, maybe you shouldn’t just randomly press things-“

“Well it isn’t like any of us will understand any of your science-y files,” Natasha said and Bruce had to agree as he watched the others. “If we get into any of yours or his locked files, you’ll know how to make it go away, just grab it and turn them off or whatever.”

Bruce hummed. “I guess so,” he said, watching uneasily as Steve happily pressed buttons, occasionally allowing Thor to press some.

Suddenly an image with a ‘play’ symbol over it came up on the screen. “It appears we discovered a film!” Thor said, smiling and nodding contentedly as he pressed play. “This should do.”

It only took about ten seconds for them to realize something had gone horribly wrong. 

Natasha’s eye twitched, lips turning down at the corners. “Is that-“

“Oh Tony!” a female voice giggled, and they all heard the sound of something rattling. “Is that tight enough?”

“Yes, I do believe my circulation is being cut off to my hands- Oh, never mind, that’s nice,” Tony’s voice spoke and Clint’s eyes widened, the only things visible over the tops of his kneecaps. There was a grunt and a gasp. “Well now, that was interesting.”

“Hehehe Tony! Stay still, or I’ll have to punish you-“ Bruce groaned and dropped his face into his hands, a look of horror crossed Steve’s face, and Thor frowned, tilting his head.

Steve swallowed hard, cheeks bright red. “Oh my God is this what I think it is?” he asked and Natasha tilted her head some, nodding.

“I do not understand,” Thor spoke out, a very confused look on his face. “If he and the maiden are having intercourse, why would there be need for restraints or punishment of any sort?” he asked and Clint snickered suddenly, slapping a hand over his mouth as they all shot Thor funny looks.

“Hey, what’re you guys watching-“ Tony stopped behind the couch and smirked. “Oh, well hello Miss June. I remember that one! I see you guys picked the best! Although, unless we’re planning a super-orgy, somehow I doubt this is very productive to ‘teambuilding’-“

“You have a collection of sex tapes of yourself?” Clint asked between giggles at the noises coming from the television. “Wow you really are that egotistical!”

“This is entirely inappropriate,” Steve groaned, covering his eyes and Thor slapped him on the shoulders.

“Fear not, friend. One day you too shall understand the lure of women-“

“Oh my God, please stop, I’m going to throw up,” Clint choked out, nearly falling out of his chair with laughter. 

Natasha shook her head. “I can honestly say, I never wanted to see this side of you, Stark,” she said and Bruce let out a sigh, lifting his face from his hands to stare at the ceiling rather than look at anyone.

“Please tell me I’m not in any of these,” he pleaded, earning a confused look from Thor and a shocked look from Steve.

“Why would you be-“ Steve stopped and shook his head. “Never mind, don’t want to know,” he said with a wave of his hand.

Tony just chuckled as he picked up the holo-tablet and stopped the sex tape and changed the screen. “Of course not, Big Guy, I know better than to make you angry,” he said, winking at him, though Bruce didn’t look even slightly amused by his joke. He walked around and sat down beside Bruce, leaning back against the couch after snagging a cheeseburger off the table. “Now,” he started before taking a bite. “Unless we’re going to achieve ‘teambuilding’ through watching my old sex tapes and critiquing the sex-noises of the girls I slept with, I think we should find an actual movie before Cap gives himself an aneurism,” he said, nodding at the strained, red face their friend was sporting.

They agreed and Natasha grinned, settling back beside Steve. “Besides, you should’ve heard the noises Miss June made when I was with her,” she said, and they all whipped round to stare in shock.

All except for Tony, who just rolled his eyes. “Who do you all think Pepper left me for?” 

Natasha just smirked and settled down, ignoring the looks she was getting from every dirction.


End file.
